At the end of the day, I am usually whacked. I don't even know why, sometimes. And, ironically, I am more whacked after a day with Willow than a day at work - and, I work with teenagers, trying to get them GCSEs and A-Levels in English, which is whacking in itself.
Once Willow is in bed, I could easily fill these hours with housework, meal-planning or work - perhaps, I should do. But I can just as easily fill these hours with nothing. It's because of my being tired from the day, that I need to be organised. I so want to be fit and healthy again; and, I so want to feel good riding my bike again, but I won't go out on my bike unless I plan for it. A plan takes away the thinking and the thinking is where my struggles lie - I can so easily talk myself onto my sofa.
Anyway, if I look at this objectively, this training lark doesn’t actually ask for much.
I have worked out what I can do: an hour after 7pm on a Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Tuesdays are difficult, because I have to plan and mark and prep for work at some point! And Fridays, I am not training then! No way! I can do two hours on a Saturday and/or a Sunday. Not quite the quota of an elite cyclist but more than enough for a working mum. And, ironically, it still exceeds the governmental guidelines of 30 minutes every day, by a little bit – where on earth do they get those figures? Not from working mums, clearly. Nor, mums to newborns, definitely!
That is 7 hours, out of 7 x 24 hours (yes, I teach English, my brain won’t calculate that.) That isn’t that much. I can train after Willow has gone to bed and still be sat down for 9pm.
But, being a mum demands organisation too - regularity is good for Willow and me. If I want to be my fit self again and if I want her to brought up in a household that respects activity, I need to give it respect and plan riding my bike into my life, again. It is important that I make this a regular and consistent thing for my mind and my body: I have to get used to regular exercise, again. I have to give myself, regular me-time, again.