Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Six – More hurdles than a cyclo-cross race.

I have a plan; I must stick to it. For now, it is about doing something regularly so I become used to it. I have a plan and I will be fit, again ...

The weather isn’t too inspiring in the county of Kent. We may boast the country’s lowest rainfall and its warmest climate but it’s too cold to go out on my bike in the evenings. Besides, since Willow, I’ve become a wimp. A few years ago, I would have donned my super lights, waterproof and headed out without a worry. But now ... I feel the need to be close to home or easily accessible, at least.

Who said only babies suffer from separation anxiety? So, I am lucky to have my bike on my turbo trainer, set up in my garage – our make shift gym.

Last night, as soon as Nick was home and tea had been served (yes, I am a control freak, I have to make sure I feed the baby because only I know how to make sure she eats enough to not disturb my sleep in the early hours,) I went to my kit cupboard.

That was depressing.

I am much larger than when I last used my kit. Even my ribs have stretched! How? Even more reason to get on that bike.

My kit cupboard’s contents are now fairly limited. I have a lot of ex-racing kit and when I was racing, I was a different size and shape. That couldn’t be used. I have gym kit – pregnant woman gym kit – neither is appropriate for sitting on the saddle. I have one pair of cycling shorts that I had used on my weekly or two weekly rides over the past year and they had to do. But they were fraying, badly. Not long ago, I had so much cycling accessory choice, how could I be in a situation with just one pair of fraying Lycra shorts? This wasn’t going to be comfortable.

However, the kit situation was not the end of it.

When I had finally found acceptable attire, I had to brace myself for the long walk to the turbo trainer. It’s only to the garage, off the kitchen, but when so much preparation has to go into getting there, it seems a long way off. And, I knew there would be more obstacles in the way.

I forgot about the faffing - and I was good at that pre-Willow. I had a drink and a towel. But, I had yet to secure my bike to the turbo; check the tyre pressure; put on my bike shoes; load the DVD (I need that additional motivation in case I convince myself to stop too soon!) But these obstacles could be dealt with.

The main one obstacle was harder.

It came in the form of huge, penetrating, blue eyes in the living room, through which I had to pass. Asking, ‘Mummy, are you leaving me?’ There was the lure. How could I? Ok, she was with her dad – but, I still felt dreadful about shutting the door on her. It was too cold to keep it open and let her watch ...

...  And, as for the cold! I was in the garage with a radiator; a room next to the kitchen and the wall with the range:  I hadn’t expected to be walking back up to the kit cupboard for leg and arm warmers, fleece, gloves and hat. I was inside and it shouldn't be cold inside! 

Of course, this meant I had to pass her again and I had to shut the door on her twice. But, she wasn’t at all bothered! She didn’t even acknowledge me. Daddy is way too exciting, clearly.

Eventually, halfway through the session, the door opened and there stood my baby, watching me. Her huge grin and her huge eyes and her absolute wonder. She may have been thinking, ‘What on earth is my mum doing on that machine in this boring room?’ But I took it as my daughter’s intrigue: she was interested in me and my bike.

And, so it begins ... 

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