Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Fifteen - A blog to share ...

I have to share Willow Rockwell's latest blog. Not because she has the same name as my baby or because she is a fellow mountain-bike racer. But, because she is a new mum and she is writing for me, a year ago; and, she is writing for many other mums, whether we've tried regaining fitness or going back to work or adapting to our new life roles and our new relationships and juggling everything motherhood throws at us.

Motherhood is technical single-track on steep inclines and descents that you ride with no brakes. And, we all fall off ... well, some of us, I mean, I have enough.

Obviously, me attempting to regain national elite level fitness is nothing in comparison to this lady's dreams - she is world class, a championship medallist - and, she is aiming to race at London 2012. I hope she does - this is the only event for which I have secured tickets and Willow and I will be there to cheer her. (Of course, we'll be rooting for Annie Last too!)

But, did I say, Willow Rockwell was a new mum?! I mean, a properly, new mum?

Her baby is only 3 months old and she has just raced the first mountain-bike World Cup of the season. This is phenomenal because I could barely sit on my saddle when my Willow was 3 months old. As for riding off-road ... it wasn't just sitting in the saddle that hurt: I remember juggling some tricky roots whilst singing Kelise's 'Milk-shake' song to camouflage the boob pain! And, emotionally, I remember, when my Willow was about 6 months, I had to get off my bike, one evening, because I was sobbing so much about having left her that I began to hyperventilate and couldn't breathe! So, racing? Wow!

I really wish Willow Rockwell every success because what she is aiming for is amazing and quite humbling. And, if she reads this, I want her to know that she is not alone with the struggles that it may throw at her.

Every mother I know, knows.

And, our paths are more often uphill, rocky, boulderous tracks but these are rewarded by the views and the descents, which we will enjoy, when we get there. When we get there.

Our daughters will be more impressionable come 2016, if that means anything ...

I am lucky because my bike-riding is my release and not my job. Although, I have spent years wishing it was my job! But my real job has had to have its sacrifices now: I can't strive to be anything but good enough, at work, now I am a mother; and, these decisions have been tough, heart-breaking, life-changing but not forever.

My baby is forever.

Or, until she is 7 and chooses sleepovers over snuggling with me. These first few years are mine to enjoy and if I have had to make drastic decisions, I have done so because I know they are right for me and for her. It has taken a year to realise this, though.

The years will go quickly ... these 15 months have.

Anyway, I must race soon - Willow must see me race first - how many regional races between now and July?


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